Like most of you all out there, it was a shocking moment for me when the news about Robin Williams' sad demise was broken out to me. An actor so brilliantly entertaining on screen, so dearly funny; decided to end it all because he just couldn't bid adios to depression. Honestly, I felt ungrateful. He has made me smile and laugh too many times; and many a times I have come out of horrible moods seeing him on screen. The thought that nothing on this earth could talk him out of such a tragedy pains me. The fact that he was always open about his depression and has never stacked it up within him, worries me...
This post goes out to all those who feel terribly lost most of the time in their current lives, to those of you who experience loneliness in phases and the entire crowd out there who knowingly or unknowingly contribute to this dreadful mental struggle.
First of all, depression, according to me, is not something you are born with. It is a state that you get into when you keep hoping for the best and almost in all eventualities reality fails to show a bright picture. Please please talk it out as immediately as you can. You may not be in a position to chuck it all and walk away. But thrashing it all out from within acts like panacea for survival. Don't keep the thoughts running long in your head. No, it's not a permanent solution, but you can use this temporary solution as many times as you want. It is important for you to realize that you are not alone. You look disappointed when you look for warmth from the people who have hurt you. It's time you know that they are beneath you at that moment. It's time for you to look up or beside you. There are people who will understand. Believe me, having to know that there is somebody out there who understands and cares the way you expect, is a huge relief.
The moment you start opening up, when those tears flow out, when you hear about the good things that make you you; is a reminder of the zillion other things life's worth living for. Get back on track each time you fall out. When you feel or are made to feel that you are not worth any more than the morning cup of coffee you offer, or the money you bring in; it's time to change your zone. Go for a walk or a drive, take a shower, plug in those ear plugs and listen to your favorite music and most importantly, like I said before, talk it out with some who can understand your point of view without a lot of explanation. Focus on what you want to get out of life. It's great to look out for yourself and protect yourself. Being selfless is considered to be a great virtue. It is dictated by a society who hasn't taken the pains to think before dictating the terms. The sad truth is in the eventuality when you may shout out for help, you realize that you receive very little empathy. You end up with just heaps of moral studies classes - another set of dictated terms and conditions. So, my dear friends, leave selflessness for the divine and look out for yourself. Love others as you love yourself - only as you love yourself. If you don't consider your likes, then who will?
There is absolutely no need to please people who haven't understood you or fails to appreciate your virtues after long years of association with you. There is no space for guilt here, because you can only give what you get. Learn to stand up for yourself.
I remember a couple in the neighborhood who used to have constant fights, when I was a child. I remember witnessing conversations, within my household, around why the lady of that house couldn't end the fight by simply keeping quiet and giving up. It takes two hands to clap, etc. If you witness any such situations, cease yourself from being judgmental. It's OK not to understand what got them there; in that case, be thankful that you are not in that zone. Nobody signs up to get there. Learn to feel empathetic towards them. Also, being open and loud about emotions is not a signature of insanity. Keep away from doing your bit to push them towards that condition. This quote's for you:
"Be kind. For everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
Munna Bhai's jadu ki jhappi may not be feasible all the time. It's more important to change your mindset. What your parents may have commented and talked about was a good 30 years back (maybe even more). The world has changed, situations have changed, people have changed.
And finally, a note to all those who knowingly or unknowingly contribute towards this unhappiness. Incompatibility is not anything new to this universe. Just because you don't understand somebody or agree with their views, doesn't warrant you to put them down and make them feel low. It is downright nasty to dishearten somebody just to get your way. Learn to make life comfortable by making it comfortable for others too. In the event that you are still getting what you want, even if you treat the people in your life like trash, don't expect perks like smiles, hearty conversations, lots of love, hugs, etc. The package you get depends on how much you are willing to pay. This quote I stumbled upon is for folks like you:
"Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care."
My adieu to Robin Williams:
Your life has been a great lesson. Your quotes are great sources of inspiration. Your work has and will always continue to instill happiness, brush aside bad moods, plant smiles and make people laugh. You have even left this world leaving a lesson - the need for human compassion. I hope wholeheartedly that you have found peace, wherever you may be now.
Inspired form not-your-average-mom.com
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