Happys Birthdays

Image courtesy: commons.wikimedia.org

Once upon a time there was a girl, who like most other children her age, was super excited about birthdays. Birthdays then, made it to the top of the list of special days. The attention, the gifts, the leeway one gets on birthdays, etc. made it all the more cool. The birthday parties with neighbor friends was most often an event by the kids, of the kids and for the kids! The bill and food excused as parents’ responsibility, of course. That big box of Quality Street chocolates and the new birthday dress were pieces of treasure. In a world of school uniforms, she would tread around like a queen in a civilian outfit, popularly termed as ‘color dress’.

She was born in the month of October. It was not just her birthday that was dear to her. The month of October itself held a very special place in her heart. In the beginning of the year, before the new calendar took its place on the wall, she would secretly flip to see the image for the month of October. Every year she secretly hoped she would forget her birthday and be surprised when others wished her. The excitement, however, always made sure that that never happened.

As she grew up she attempted many an experimentation on this day. In junior school she asked the class prefect if she could ‘mind the class’(an act of making sure the rest of the class keeps it low in between two class hours) on her birthday. To her surprise, the class prefect not just gave her the responsibility; she did it like it was an honor to do so.  In high school she felt she needed to see how the Principal’s cabin looked like. Not everyone gets to tread in there. On one of her birthdays, after she was done distributing chocolates in her classroom, on her way to the teachers’ staff room, she decided to test if her ‘color dress’ would do its magic on the security guarding the Principal’s cabin. Today, she wonders if it were the clothes, the big wide smile or the chocolates offered to the security that earned her a pass to get into the Principal’s cabin. Talk about small pleasures… ‘He even touched me on my head and said, God bless you MY girl.” she boasted to her friends.

When she went to college, she learned that birthdays could be really messy, fun and full of surprises. Those egg smashes, the bucket full of God-alone-knows-what mixture poured over, the beautifully made-up rooms, which teenage creativity and some pocket money would permit; the gifts, the midnight cakes, birthday cards, hugs, wishes, and letters! No matter what difference in opinion one might have, birthdays always bought the teenage folk together, which truly meant a lot.

She grew up to learn that there are also people in this world who doesn’t care all that much about birthdays. Yes, of course, they felt good when they were at the receiving end but it seemed too silly to return the gesture. She felt the explanation too bizarre at first and then faced a thought provoking question from them– why do birthdays have to be treated special? It’s neither earned nor is it an achievement; it’s just an automatic process. She never had an answer for that.

A couple of years later, she got the answer during a casual conversation with a friend, who had lost her husband quite early in their marriage. “I’ll never turn 40 and it doesn’t feel great.” her husband once told her. He, who was a cancer patient, may his soul rest in peace. 

She is a mother today and is absolutely delighted to see the sparkle in her child’s eyes when he learned that mothers have birthdays too. Age has turned her birthday excitement to gratitude. Gratitude for life, gratitude for friends, for people who may have gotten on her nerves but invariably pushed her to discover the best in her and discover her true inner strength, gratitude to see that excitement doesn’t die off, it simply passes on to the next generation.

“Appa, we should get a Barbie for Amma because she is a girl and it’s her birthday!” - this thought was the greatest gift she got this birthday.

Yes, birthdays are not an achievement. But, life is not always about achievements, is it? Life is like the air you breathe or like your best physical aspect you have- it may be your hair, your complexion, your teeth, anything.

We don't pay for oxygen so I don't know if we even care about the air we breathe until we get breathless. Similarly, most often your best is the one that is taken for granted. I have dark skin. I also have great hair and a wonderful smile. However, I have spent countless moments of my life trying to get fair. Today, I cherish myself so much more for what I am that I love my skin tone too.

Life is a boon; a blessing! Celebrate, cherish and respect it. 

Cheers to life!

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